Anything really? Why are things “not discussed”? Believe me, I think we are getting better at talking about things as new generations come around. I see it in my own home with my grandmother and my parents. My partner and I think its ridiculous – some of the things they or their friends won’t talk about – and mostly to protect an “image” of some sort. Our generation is better to some degree. At least we talk a little more openly about our financial challenges and goals, difficulties raising kids, health issues, etc.
Older generations are amazed that we discuss these things so openly and often ask me why. Well, in my experience, when I talk about things, solutions come. I find that I have friends who are experts in a particular area, know someone who is or have gone through a similar situation and can share insights. It just makes life easier to talk about things and embrace the help that can come from the community around you.
In my former community of Decatur, GA, I experienced the so many benefits that come from being open with friends, sharing challenges and sharing possible solutions, but I had years to cultivate those relationships. And I trusted my close friends to connect me with others I could trust.
That was my biggest fear in moving to North Carolina to start a new life – leaving my friends. I didn’t know anyone and I realized just how much I leaned on my Decatur community for support. But I’ve got to say that Sylva has really surprised me in a good way. I’ve met some really awesome people. They LOVE to rally around those who need it and create amazing positive changes in the community. They created an awesome Bridge Park and playground, got the old courthouse renovated and moved the library up there, and saved a beautiful historic home from being converted to a parking lot by rallying together and working hard to accomplish things we all now benefit from.
Granted, one of the things that comes with a small town is the rapid spread of information, but you’ve got to be ok with that – even laugh at the stuff that’s not true. But I’ve found that if you talk about things here, the record does get set straight, and the resources you need will come your way when you encounter challenges.
I can name numerous cases in the short time I’ve been here, and as a result, I have an amazing staff at the café, a great physician and chiropractor, and advisors and supportive friends of all kinds.
Recently our community has lost several small businesses that we miss dearly, and several more are on the cusp of closing. I don’t know many of those owners very well, but I suspect that if they could be open with their friends and supporters early enough, a shift can take place. Members of the community may pitch in and even just the increased intention on positive change by many people can make great things happen. We’ve just got to talk about it!
Noticing the Need for Chatter,
Bernadette
December 2, 2011 at 2:59 am |
Sounds like you are starting a good conversation up in Sylva! Great to see your story of settling in to a new culture. Very different than Decatur I’m sure but seems like such a nice town and seems like a good community of people.
December 5, 2011 at 12:05 pm |
Hi Bern,
I really liked the last point you made about if some small businesses were open about their struggles staying open then maybe something could shift with more support from the community. For instance, i was at Ingles the other day and bought a loaf of Annie’s bread, not because i eat bread, but because i wanted to support them. I also bought a Stolen and took it to a party from them at Soul Infusions the other day. If a lot of people had realized they were about to close their shop I think people might have really showed up in there more!!!!
And going back to your first point in the blog about the older generation being so concerned with protecting an image, when i was a kid and I asked my parents if i could do something they often would say to me, “Well, what would the neighbors think, Andrea” And I said, Mom, I barely know the neighbors. I don’t care too much what they think.” But, this argument still didn’t get me very far.
Andrea
December 5, 2011 at 1:44 pm |
Thanks, Andrea. I guess we can not make people not worry about what others think, but we CAN notice a need and rally around individuals, businesses and organizations as a community. I do LOVE that about Sylva, and it sounds like there has been quite a community of people contributing to your home as well – very cool.